


told you not to worry (but maybe that's a lie)

by far2late



Series: ilomilo [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Betrayal, Drowning, Emotional Manipulation, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Manipulation, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mind Manipulation, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sad, Sad Ending, Sadism, Torture, Traitor Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Traitor Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Water, Whump, based off todays streams, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/far2late/pseuds/far2late
Summary: "It had been a long while since Ranboo had randomly woken up somewhere he hadn’t meant to be. He recalled waking up in a lot of odd places after the episodes in his Panic Room, which he almost always remembered. It was hard to forget the panic that fogged his brain and his fits of hyperventilation that had led him to nearly pass out due to that lack of air that was making its way into his lungs. Ranboo could admit that he wasn’t the most mentally stable, and decided that it was probably best that he didn’t tell Phil and Techno about his voice.He frowned for a moment, rubbing his head. Why did he think about telling Phil and Techno about the voice? He hadn’t even seen them today. "orphil and techno find ranboo's memory issues advantageous.
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: ilomilo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095689
Comments: 92
Kudos: 877
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	told you not to worry (but maybe that's a lie)

**Author's Note:**

> twt is @far2early :) ++ watch out in tags for any triggers, stay safe <3

Ranboo blinked, snowflakes falling off of his eyelashes as he looked up in the field he was laying in. The snow was cold on his skin, unmelting due to his lack of body temperature and his eyes just barely dragging over the clouds to make sense of the graying sky above him. He blinked again, rubbing sleep from his eyes as they unblurred and he sat up properly, snow sliding off his suit as he did. 

He wasn’t sure how he got where he was if he was being honest. He looked around, spotting a Nether portal nearby. Another shake of his head revealed that it was the one that he had used to travel to L’manberg when he needed his panic room or something from the ruins of the crater. It was useful, but he wasn’t sure why he had woken up beside it today.

It had been a long while since Ranboo had randomly woken up somewhere he hadn’t meant to be. He recalled waking up in a lot of odd places after the episodes in his Panic Room, which he almost always remembered. It was hard to forget the panic that fogged his brain and his fits of hyperventilation that had led him to nearly pass out due to that lack of air that was making its way into his lungs. Ranboo could admit that he wasn’t the most mentally stable, and decided that it was probably best that he didn’t tell Phil and Techno about his voice. 

He frowned for a moment, rubbing his head. Why did he think about telling Phil and Techno about the voice? He hadn’t even seen them today. 

Ranboo wasn’t wearing his armour, either, which he found strange. He felt around to look for his memory book for any type of explanation on why he woke up where he did, finding the leather-bound novel easily. He flipped through it where he sat, shivering slightly as the cold began to catch up to his consciousness. When he reached the last few pages, he found them mostly unchanged, save for a couple of things. 

  * _Gave armour to Phil for fixing up (messed up enchantment)_
  * _Went to L’manberg for more resources_



“What the… Why don’t I remember this?” He frowned, looking closer at the entry as he thumbed through the pages, examining the ones later on to see if anything was off or if there was anything that he was missing. The blank pages revealed nothing, slightly dampened from their stay in the snow but mostly unharmed. Ranboo decided to leave the investigation for later as he stumbled to his feet, making his way through the snow to get back to his home. 

It was a little harder than usual to get there, considering he didn’t have his protective boots, nor his water-breathing helmet he rarely took off. He was lucky that snow never melted on his skin, but it was still something of a painful sting after it built up too much. It wasn’t as bad as water, nothing was ever as bad as water, but it was still irritating. 

Ranboo eventually made his way back to their shared home, coming upon the field that was more slush and grass than it was mud and snow. It was a welcome change, even if his socks started becoming wet in his shoes. It was uncomfortable, but nothing he couldn’t live with. The teen paused as he passed by the threshold of Techno’s door, debating whether or not to come in. 

“No,” He murmured to himself finally, his trembling dying down in the slightest as he trudged onwards and past it. “Don’t want to impose,” Ranboo mumbled. It was more so the fact that he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of two of the strongest people on the server by being weak. 

The teen continued on, making his way past the kennel and the dogs barking to go over to his small shack, the familiar fenced off area painting a faint smile upon his face. It was even better to remember the comfort room and the netherrack it had been built out of, especially when confronted with the reminder of how his warm, soft pets were all down there in the room with him. 

The climb down into his room was one that was done with mostly frozen fingers, dragging down logs and a lighter for himself to make a campfire for him to camp out with. Ranboo ignored his dog, parrots, and rabbit for a moment to make himself the fire, their quiet cries growing faint in his ears. 

After a spark had been lit, he turned and moved to press himself against the wall, shivering as he leaned on Dogboo. The large husky only snuggled up to him more, more than half his size as the teen sat down, folded in on himself. Dogboo dropped his muzzle in the teen’s lap, his hands coming up to absently scratch at his ears before noticing something, getting distracted. 

Ranboo’s hands had little scars on them that hadn’t been there before. 

Well, Ranboo reconsidered after a moment, not scars. More like scratches that hadn’t completely healed yet. The skin on his hands was red or lightened, slightly raised in a bumpy way that made it clear where the scratches weren’t as harsh. His palm had a small cut on it that was still bleeding, leaving Ranboo surprised by how he had managed to miss it while flipping through his memory book. 

There weren’t many reasons he could think of for his palms to be scratched up unless it was while he was out somewhere the other day. Ranboo frowned to himself, feeling worried as he pulled out his memory book once more to flip through it rapidly, eyes widening with each page he passed until he reached the end. He was ready to flip back to the entry from the day before until he noticed the second bullet point on his list of things that he did. 

  * _Went to L’manberg for resources_



“Well, that solved that,” Ranboo said to himself, chuckling humorlessly as Dogboo butted the memory book out of his hands. There was something about the situation that he was uncomfortable with, something that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. There was nothing to back it with, but it felt strange nonetheless. 

His memory was bad, that much was clear when it came to Ranboo. No one ever denied the fact, save for the voice in his panic room who tried to make him confront it. Techno and Phil didn’t seem to mind and he was their neighbour, so it probably didn’t matter that much in comparison to other things. 

It was always Dream and bad things that he had somehow managed to forget. He forgot the fact that Dream gave him the disc, he had forgotten his plans when it came to staying safe during the festival, he had forgotten so much that had been simple and easy to stop or just recall so he wouldn’t mess something up amid a sleepwalking situation. 

Ranboo had just assumed that if he were to go to Phil and take refuge with him and Techno that he would end up leaving the voice behind. He had been proven wrong, of course, by how his confrontation of the voice had gone. It was naive of him to assume that his problems would go away, but the last thing he wanted was for it to bring more problems. 

Now he had a disc he couldn’t remember getting and a Community House he didn’t remember blowing up. 

Ranboo frowned at the memory, sitting up from where he had drifted up to get to his feet very slowly, avoiding his pets on the chance that he would accidentally hurt one of them or wake them up. Ranboo thought he would cry either way, and he didn’t want to test his chances on that. Dogboo whined as he got up to leave, but he stayed in place, thankfully for Ranboo. 

The teen got up, wincing at the bitter taste of… something, in the back of his mouth. It was bothering him, and he hated the feeling of it in his mouth. He hadn’t tasted anything like it, ever, and it was pissing him off a bit. Or making him feel gross, either of the two. Rambo ignored it in favour of getting to Techno and Phil as fast as possible and explaining what had happened with the voice. 

He needed to explain, he had to, so he wouldn’t get accused of betrayal and get kicked out. 

Ranboo climbed out of his comfort room, past a wall of mob heads and armour that he didn’t remember putting up and leaving in the room. His smithing table looked used and there was a map on the wall he hadn’t recalled being there before. His room was certainly much barer just a few hours ago, but he assumed he made it in the period that he had managed to forget. 

It was weird, really, Ranboo thought to himself as he made his way over to Phil and Techno’s home, the sun dipping behind a throe of trees as the light kissed the tops of the needles. It was weird how he had forgotten nearly the entire day. That rarely happened, and when it did, it was usually something bad that he ended up trying to forget in the first place. 

The feeling was eerily similar to the one he had the day after he blew up the Community House, he thought uncomfortably, realization dawning on him as the sun slowly set. 

Ranboo made his way to the door, pausing before it and preparing to knock before he picked up on voices speaking from beneath the basement. His ears twitched, automatically turning to the sound of the voices to listen properly. Ranboo was about to pivot his ears away before he caught just a hint of his voice, curiosity replacing his want to be good in a quick moment. 

He crouched down to sit on his heels, listening with his head tilted to the right slightly, eyes half-open. The voices became clearer, very obviously dividing between Techno’s low timbre and Phil’s steady tone. 

“-Syndicate idea really is a good one, Phil, I just need a _name_ ,” Techno lamented, voice muffled between the stone and wood that separated him. Ranboo could tell they were in the large chest room. He frowned as the words registered, listening closer. 

“-You’ll have to ask your voices about it, Techno. Mine are only ever unhelpful and shouting. Barely even know what’s going on half the time, they’re so behind on everything that goes on.” Techno chuckled at the joke, Phil’s familiar laugh joining him. 

“Did you get the kid?” Techno asked a moment later, making Ranboo freeze where he sat. He didn’t dare breathe as he listened to what they had to say. 

“Ah, shit,” Phil said in response, sounding the way he did when he had blown up Te- “I forgot to grab him after the Stronghold shit. Couldn’t find him out there in all the snow and blood and water and stuff. He probably got out alright, he’s smart.” 

The tone was flippant, in a way. Not in a condescending sort of way, but in the sense that Phil seemed much too confident in what he had to say. Ranboo found himself more and more lost as the words registered, running them over in his head. 

What Stronghold? The one he and Techno found? What about it? Was he there? It sounded like he was there, but why would he… There was no reason for him to be, he didn’t even want to go in as badly as Techno seemed to. He was more scared of Dream than he was curious to find out what was in that place. 

Ranboo blinked, and he remembered the second half of the sentence. Snow and water. Those two weren’t out of the ordinary, so why had the blood…? What did he do, what happened in the Stronghold? Did he do something? He didn’t feel hurt, besides his palms, and… 

The teen forced himself to stand up, shakily getting to his full height before staring at the door, debating with himself whether or not he really wanted to knock on it to figure out what the hell was going on. He could either find out what bad things he assumed he did or, he could leave it behind and trust Phil and Techno’s judgement. 

His decision was made for him when someone opened the door and startled at the sight of him standing there, lost. Ranboo saw it was Phil and he slumped down slightly, instinctively moving to make the man more comfortable. He looked a little panicked at the sight of the teen, chuckling nervously. 

“Oh, Ranboo!” He said, voice louder than normal. It made Ranboo recoil a bit, but the man didn’t seem to notice as he continued. “What’re you doing here?” 

Downstairs, Ranboo could faintly hear the sound of shuffling pause before resuming at a faster pace after Phil’s words. He ignored it, instead opting to try to fight down the ball of anxiety in his chest that had been yelling at him to run and get away from everything in that house. 

His mind was screaming at him that he wasn’t safe and he needed to leave, and the bitter taste in the back of his mouth came back with a vengeance until a question that not even Ranboo was expecting came out of his mouth. 

“Phil, what does blood taste like?” He asked, hands twitching slightly where they were held in front of him as the question slipped out. Phil looked up at Ranboo for a silent few moments, hand slowly moving to slip under his coat as Ranboo saw Techno climb back up out of the corner of his eye. 

“How much do you remember, Ranboo?” Phil asked as a retaliation. His voice was soft, but it was dangerous and unlike the tone, he had when he had been in his panic room on the verge of wanting to die once more. The teen took in a shaky breath, raising a hand up to run through his hair and flinching as an axe was drawn a hair’s breadth away from his neck. 

Ranboo blinked, looking at the arm before Techno and trying to back away before finding the doors shut behind him. He slowly lowered his arm, careful of Techno’s red eyes as he tried his best to appear non-threatening as possible. 

“A lot less than you seem to think I do,” He replied, voice shaky as he spoke. Ranboo saw Techno about to speak up before he interrupted, not of his own accord but rather fueled by panic. “What- what’s the Stronghold? Is it the one me and Techno found? And- and what, Syndicate? What does that even mean, I... Was I there, I don’t understand, I don’t- What does blood taste like, do either of you know? And- and there are scratches on my- my hands, and I… I thought they were from L’manberg but if I didn’t go there then where did they- do you know what’s going on?” 

The axe inched its way further up his neck, making small tears gather in Ranboo’s eyes as he choked out the next words. 

“I don’t _understand._ ” 

Techno sighed quietly, lowering the weapon as Ranboo tried to hide the tremors that ran through his body and showed in his hands. He felt cornered, eyes flitting around the room as he avoided eye contact with the two of them in fear that he would do something that he absolutely didn’t mean to do. 

Ranboo slipped down the door, lowering himself to be below the two as Techno tensed once more, Phil whipping out a hand to rest on his arm as he stopped the man from moving forward. After a look exchanged between the two of them, Phil nodded, stepping forward to crouch down to Ranboo’s eye level, staring just past him instead of into his eyes. 

“Listen close, yeah, mate?” Phil asked, Ranboo nodding quietly as the man gripped one of his sore scratched up hands in his own palms. 

“We made a Syndicate, to gather the Anarchists of the server together. We were going to meet in the Stronghold when we got more people to join us.” 

Phil ignored Techno tensing up and hissing, _‘Phil,_ ’ under his breath. 

“We brought you down to the room and we asked you if you wanted to join and you said yes, initially, but you looked jumpy and we didn’t know what to do with you, so we tried to reason with you and we got in a pretty big fight. Me and Techno were arguing with you while you went on about sides and people, and we both knew that it wouldn’t last for too long since we brought you down there. We _were_ going to send you away and make sure you forgot, somehow, but you eventually fell into a… what is it, zombie-like state? And went ape-shit, attacking pretty much every mob in the nearby vicinity after you heard one of us go after an Enderman.” 

Ranboo sucked in a sharp breath, looking Phil in the eyes as they became watery with disbelief. The man was still completely calm as he explained the occurrence, Ranboo almost hating him for it. 

“We decided to dip because we didn’t want any trouble and I realized how much you had to offer, Ranboo.” A smile graced Phil’s face now, making Ranboo’s face pale as he realized what the man was insinuating. He shook his head, eyes wide. 

“No, no no no.” He whispered, voice shaky. Phil squeezed his hand gently, the teen pulling it back like he had been burnt. 

“No, I don’t-” He tried to protest, being interrupted. 

“We can’t possibly let you just leave, knowing what you know now.” Techno cut in, face dark and holding something close to regret on it before it had been masked by indifference. Ranboo’s eyes flit between the two of them, squeezing his shaking claws into his arm as he shook his head again. 

“I’ll just forget, I’ll forget. It’s not written down, I won’t remember, please don’t-” Ranboo sniffed loudly as he tried to wipe at tears that burned at his face, not noticing the smile on Phil’s face turn just a little bit sharper. 

“We’re relying on you forgetting, mate.” All of a sudden, the doors were open and a hand had bunched into the collar of Ranboo’s shirt, dragging the teen behind him. The teen writhed for a moment before stopping at the sight of Techno following, netherite axe at the ready. Ranboo didn’t want to see what would happen should he risk hurting Phil in his escape attempt. 

“I don’t want to, I don’t, I don’t, I won’t tell anyone, you don’t have to-” Phil cut off his pleads as he stopped a good bit away from the home. It looked like a dollhouse from where they were, and Ranboo moved to scramble away the moment the man let go of him. 

“How does the memory thing work again?” Phil asked, staring off into the distance with what looked like a contemplative look on his face. Ranboo panted slightly, gulping back a sob that threatened to escape at the first chance it got. 

“I… It’s bad things. I try- when I do something bad. Or something bad happens, I don’t remember. It just- just goes away.” Ranboo looked up at the man, watching him turn to his left, facing away from his completely. 

“And would you classify water as something bad?” His voice was practically blank as he asked the question, though the teen’s eyes widened at the realization. 

“ _No!_ ” He shrieked, turning and getting ready to scramble to his feet before an arm wrapped around his waist harshly, yanking him back. Ranboo didn’t care if it was Techno at this point, clawing at the arm with pointy nails that would have drawn blood in any other case. He scratched and clawed, ready to bite before a dagger was lifted against his neck again and he couldn’t help but sob, the sound escaping him unbidden. It cut into his neck deeper than expected, leaving him caught off guard as he coughed. 

“No, no no no no, please,” He pleaded uselessly, blood trickling down his throat as Phil dragged him to the pond of water he had broken the ice off of. The man didn’t spare him a look, one hand fisted into his hair as he clicked his tongue, tipping his head. 

“Either this or death, Ranboo. And I’m not feeling up to murder tonight.” 

At the words, his head was dunked into the water and all he felt was pain, agony, the burning sensation of pressing your hand against a stove turned up to full heat. He could feel his skin sizzling, it almost felt like it would peel off if he waited too long. His eyes stung and all he could taste was blood in the back of his throat as he- 

* * *

Ranboo awoke, jolting as his heart hammered in his chest. He looked around, finding himself in his shack with a chest in it he didn’t recognize. He shook off anxiety he didn’t understand as he stumbled over to it, opening it to see his armour, freshly polished, along with his regular clothes. He wrinkled his nose, confused. 

The teen opened his memory book after a bit of searching, flipping through the pages to see what had happened that day. He came to the last page, understanding after he had read through the entry.

  * _Gave armour to Phil for fixing up (messed up enchantment)_
  * _Went to L’manberg for more resources_
  * _Passed out on the way back, got help from techno_



Ranboo hummed, shutting it and rubbing at his eyes as he looked at the house across his shack, tipping his head to the side a bit before going on to do his daily morning routine.

He wondered what Techno and Phil were up to.

**Author's Note:**

> this is if phil and techno were evil btw. pleas do not take this as how i think canon will go down LOL i just thought of it and couldnt stop thinking of it. tell me what u think <3 i appreciate u all
> 
> maybe follow up?? maybe?? depends on reception to evil phil and techno


End file.
